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 GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]

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Aria
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Sun Oct 21, 2012 2:20 pm

detergeant2 wrote:
ZhoinX wrote:
detergeant2 wrote:
Good Story.
Maybe a bit weird (and i'd add some other words if you didnt say you'd kill us) but it's a pretty interesting read.

*EDIT* Yup. I edited already. For all those who don't know, (I'm NOT IMPLYING THAT YOU DON'T KNOW THE DAMAGE CAP ZHOIN)
the damage cap in Maplestory is 999,999. Cap in Finalstory is... impossible to hit without hacks. I think. I hope. I might be a bit behind.

Since that was an awfully long time ago, what would u add.

What happened an awfully long time ago? I feel stupid :/

I left this forums a year ago, but since I'm back, I decided to pick up my old fan-fic from a year ago, so any suggestions?
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Sun Oct 21, 2012 5:13 pm

Needs more bloody noses and action of course.
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Sun Oct 21, 2012 5:25 pm

myfantasy wrote:
Needs more bloody noses and action of course.

Don't worry, I don't know about bloody noses, but after 3-4 chapters, the training begins.
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Sun Oct 21, 2012 7:09 pm

Bloody noses? I bet Hakura gave Royke one lol.
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Sun Oct 21, 2012 9:20 pm

Excellent, I can't wait for the rest -you should also ask neo for advice since hes smart- :D
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Sun Oct 21, 2012 10:41 pm

myfantasy wrote:
Excellent, I can't wait for the rest -you should also ask neo for advice since hes smart- :D

I never see him on though GET ON THE CHAT NOW MYFANTASY.
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:24 pm


~Chapter 8:Mysterious Adept Warrior's Secret Meeting? Message of the Dead for Garet and Jenna!~


Continuing off from the last chapter, Royke and Hakura are about to engage against an unknown creature they've never even seen before.


Battle Commenced!



Party

Royke, Hakura

Party Selection Complete, Begin Battle!

Heroes---------------------------------Monsters
Royke 400/580 / 95/95-------Killer Ape 1000/1000
Hakura 490/625 / 70/70



Killer Ape used Ransack! He charges towards Hakura at a dangerous velocity.

Hakura takes 762 Damage!!!
Hakura has Fallen!
Royke used Double Shot! ?? MP used!
Killer Ape takes 41 Damage!!!
Killer Ape used Ransack!
Royke takes 741 Damage!!!
Royke has Fallen!


The team has Fallen!


Both Royke and Hakura could do absolutely nothing. Royke's arrows seemed to just bounce off the Killer Ape and Hakura could not even get anywhere near it. Both of them were both kneeling on a puddle of blood, breathing extremely heavily. Both of them were too weak to even move, and suddenly they felt themselves chilled by a blue light of energy that surrounded them. It made them feel numb. The Killer Ape was advancing on Hakura.


Royke:Dammit... Don't you dare go near her you forsaken beast. NO DON'T DO IT!

The Killer Ape slashed across Hakura's body leaving a huge gash open. Her pupils dilated and she laid there emotionless. Royke completely lost it, he let his friend die, the friend he loved the most. He didn't know what to feel anymore at that point, whether it was rage or sadness, he couldn't feel anything. Feeling his body again, he gathered the last of his strength to crawl towards Hakura's body. He sat next to her, whimpering. Finally, he took a final stand and got in a shooting stance. He was about to shoot until the Killer Ape knocked his bow away far from reach, and was ready to completely obliterate Royke. Before it could though...


???:Diamond Berg.

In an instant, a giant block of ice appears out of thin air and crashes on the Killer Ape, trapping it completely. A few seconds later, a blue-hair man came out from the trees and walked slowly towards Hakura. Royke took a defensive stance despite the fact he was too terrified to even do anything else.

???:Balm.

A small little creature appears, remembering from before, Royke quickly identified this as a djinn.


Royke's Thoughts:Wait, it can't be?

The small creature turns into orbs and go inside Hakura, healing some of the wounds she has received. Moments later, she opened her eyes and sat up. Royke hugged her in great relief and cried.


Royke:Hakura! Thank god you're all right.
Hakura:Royke... What happened? Where's the ape, and... who is that?
???:I am...
???:Just nobody.
Royke:Hmm... Well thank you for saving us.
???:Of course. You wouldn't have happened to stumbled upon a orange-haired boy named Isaac, would you?
Hakura:Yes... why do you ask?
???:I see... when you get the chance to see him, tell him I'll be waiting at an old tree west of here.

The mysterious man gave Hakura a little piece of paper indicating where he would be waiting. Before Hakura could ask more, he vanished with the wind as if he never came.

Hakura:Royke... Do you think we can trust him?
Royke:I don't know, he may be an adept, but Isaac never said anything about evil adepts, for now we should just tell Isaac. Right now though, I'm curious about that ape. That strength was unimaginable, even if we were lowered to level 1.
Hakura:True... Let's go before we run into more of those.

Hakura and Royke walk back to the mansion to give Isaac the news and the piece of paper. They wonder what exactly is happening in the Maple World now.


End RoykexXxHakura Side-Story.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Start GaretxXxJenna

In the morning...

Jenna:Oi! Garet, wake up already. It's morning!
Garet:Hmmm... let me sleep more.
Jenna:Fine then, I won't do anything then.

Jenna starts to conjure a strange ball with her hands, in a few seconds, she raised her hands and a small burst of fire and lava spat out from underneath the bed Garet was sleeping on. Of course his reaction...

Garet:OWWWWWWWWWWW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING JENNA? I COULD'VE BEEN SERIOUSLY HURT! I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO DO ANYTHING?
Jenna:Oh? Reallly? My bad Garet, maybe you should listen next time to the person who is trying to wake you up so you can get all set and and train so you don't get your butt kicked!
Garet:Says the person who is in the same boat as us... "Level-Wise"
Jenna:What did you say...?

Jenna has killing intent in her eyes as she glares at Garet.

Garet:Ah... Nothing really... Heh. ><
Jenna:That's what I thought. Come on, we should probably go a train for awhile. We need to get stronger in order to be able to fight especially since we all got de-leveled.
Garet:Alright I'm up for it.

Garet and Jenna walk outside into the forest and travel somewhere north, eventually they find a peculiar cave and travel down inside it. After some time they found mobs of the Maple World and grinded off them for awhile. The end results

Garet Lv. 16!!!
Jenna Lv. 18!!!


Garet:Phew, man. We've been training down here for awhile haven't we?
Jenna:Yeah, we might be able to get stronger and catch up to where we were from before, eventually we should be able to use our higher-tier psyenergy

Garet and Jenna rest for awhile to regain energy, they planned to travel towards the end of the cave to see what lies there. After quite some time, they jogged to the end in a pretty happy mood. They laughed most of the way there. Finally, although very long and complex, they were able to find a small door. Opening it, they find nothing but a stone table, and a piece of paper.

Garet:What? Just a piece of paper?
Jenna:Hold on, let me read it.

Jenna eyes dilated. Fear struck her immediately after she read the piece of paper, as if her whole world came crashing down in an ensemble of destruction. Garet asked what was wrong, and he looked the paper sharing the same reaction. Garet was furious.

Garet:What is this....!
Jenna:This can't be.



Everyone... I am sorry, but. Weyard is destroyed... I was the only one so far who made it out alive. The world is literally crumbling down with bits and pieces all crashing onto each other melting at the Earth's core. The lighthouses are out of proportions and many different disasters have started to arise. Volcanoes erupted, tsunamis flooded the towns, everyone... is gone. I'm sorry... Isaac, Garet, Jenna, Felix, Ivan, Mia, Piers, Sheba, all of your families are gone. If only I had warned them earlier... Please hurry back. The world may end forever as we know it. Just, please...
Kraden.

Jenna started crying and Garet stood there, clenching his fist as if he were to beat someone up.

Garet:Jenna.

She ignored Garet, too depressed to even do anything else. Garet was beyond his limit, he started to go insane.

Garet:JENNA!

Jenna jumped at his yell, the echo ringed in her ears. She was shaking as she turned slowly at Garet. Garet gave her a compassionate and weak look. Garet went over and hugged her tightly, Jenna held onto him.

Garet:Everyone will be alright, there is no way they are dead forever. We'll find a way to bring everyone back to life. I don't believe Alchemy can't do such a task. Jenna, don't cry okay? For now, let's not tell everyone else about what just happened. Let's go home now, okay?

Jenna silently nodded, but still did not move. Garet signaled to give her a piggyback ride, in which Jenna accepted. Garet carried her all the way back to the mansion, having to fend against the monsters that got near. They did not talk during the whole walk back, nor did they ever stop for anything else...


Last edited by ZhoinX on Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:34 pm; edited 6 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:51 pm

Killer Ape? So creative lawl.
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:53 pm

detergeant2 wrote:
Killer Ape? So creative lawl.

It's because of a little thing I'll explain later, but I'm not making these up as I go, I'm taking stuff from other games, Killer Ape is a boss in another game.

GET ON CHAT
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:54 pm

Oh. Ok. I feel dumb again :/

Oh and I think that there's a part in this that you should read.
http://finalstory.activoforo.com/t2174-final-story-forum-rules-regulations-and-advice
just saying.
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:58 pm

detergeant2 wrote:
Oh. Ok. I feel dumb again :/

Oh and I think that there's a part in this that you should read.
http://finalstory.activoforo.com/t2174-final-story-forum-rules-regulations-and-advice
just saying.

Assuming the No Necro and Sexual Content, I shall ask Zeru about this. GET ON CHAT
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Mon Oct 22, 2012 1:21 am

NEV-
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Mon Oct 22, 2012 4:26 pm

Update Bump.
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Mon Oct 22, 2012 5:20 pm

wut did I just read LOL
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Mon Oct 22, 2012 5:34 pm

myfantasy wrote:
wut did I just read LOL

I don't know was it good or bad?
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Mon Oct 22, 2012 5:58 pm

...
...

I'm with Darren on this one.
...

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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Mon Oct 22, 2012 8:46 pm

NeoFrost wrote:
...
...

I'm with Darren on this one.
...

Which part, I can't improve if you don't tell me where >:O God dangit Neo
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:12 pm

lol the random 18+ content.

good and bad?
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Mon Oct 22, 2012 10:55 pm

myfantasy wrote:
lol the random 18+ content.

good and bad?

Lol, dang you are late.
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Tue Oct 23, 2012 11:35 am

Well, errr, panickly isn't a word
And uhhhh the dialogue-only thing is kind of idiosyncratic
And-- AGH WHO AM I KIDDING WHY RANDOM 18+ CONTENT o-e
I edited the OT to make it more suitable, but...
Well, still pending Zeru's judgment.

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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Tue Oct 23, 2012 3:55 pm

NeoFrost wrote:
Well, errr, panickly isn't a word
And uhhhh the dialogue-only thing is kind of idiosyncratic
And-- AGH WHO AM I KIDDING WHY RANDOM 18+ CONTENT o-e
I edited the OT to make it more suitable, but...
Well, still pending Zeru's judgment.

Well I guess I should've put "in a panicky fashion" but didn't even care that much to look at it and fix it, and also it isn't that much into 18+ as I didn't really go that far into it. I cut it off for a reason though, but the reason for it even being there in the first place I don't know I was just out of ideas for beginning a chapter in a better way than "Royke and Hakura blah blah blah." Regardless of how it came out, might as well add something extremely weird, also the OT? If Zeru doesn't like it though I'll re-write the whole beginning part though to where it fits myfantasy apparent need for "bloody noses". At least I didn't put deep description of the bodies, so it still isn't far 18+. Just stating what I thought. Not trying to argue. Troll reponse anyways Neo? I wish I had such pro vocabulary like yours, ninth grade gives you NEIN!!!
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Tue Oct 23, 2012 6:51 pm

You don't need to re-write everything. As long as nothing goes too wrong I'm fine with it.
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Tue Oct 23, 2012 6:58 pm

Zeru wrote:
You don't need to re-write everything. As long as nothing goes too wrong I'm fine with it.

Okay, just saying though, I'm not going anywhere further than what I've in sense of sexual content.

EDIT:Update on Chapter 8, renamed the chapter name and ended RoykexXxHakura, starting GaretxXxJenna, also fixed misspelling from all of the chapters on Issac's name, Issac=Isaac now. Possibly 3-10 Chapters before I try to end the Filler Arc.
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Tue Oct 23, 2012 11:28 pm

Yeeah. Go for it
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PostSubject: Re: GoldenSunxXxFinalStory - New Fan-fic by:ZhoinX [NSFW]   Tue Oct 23, 2012 11:33 pm

Hendon wrote:
NEV-
I don't understand your post.
AND I LEAVE FOR JUST 2-3 DAYS AND SO MUCH INFO BEEN GOING ON. I FEEL LEFT OUT BROHAMS
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